Have you ever tried doing one of these?
You can use them for anything you like. They really help get your creativity going. They are great for people who visualise things in pictures, they are great for organising your thoughts, they are great for reminding yourself of things you’d possibly forgotten.
Use as many colours are you like. Scribble, use pictures instead of words, let yourself go off on tangents. You don’t have to finish it all at once, leave it for a while and come back to it.
Use mindmaps instead of notes for meetings, use them to find solutions to problems, use them to gather your ideas together.
Maybe I’ll do one and post it so you can see how messy my brain can get!
FRIENDS for Life: The world’s leading resilience and life skills programme for primary and secondary school aged children. (the programmes are different to take into account the needs of pre-teens as well as teenagers). It can be used as both a treatment (clinic and pastoral care) and prevention (school based) programme for anxiety and depression, building self-esteem and social skills training.
Fun Friends: Adapted from the Friends for Life programme and designed specifically for 4, 5, and 6 year olds, Fun Friends teaches emotional resilience that will stay with young children for life. It can also be used in pre and primary schools as a prevention tool and in clinical groups as a treatment.
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This is the training I did a month or so ago.
My daughter came home from school the other day with one of those *ahem* books on puberty that schools give out. While I appreciate what they’re doing, I didn’t appreciate the mention of anorexia and bulimia in the book. So much of what children are taught is so negative. How to protect themselves from drugs, alcohol, peer pressure, dangerous strangers or dangerous people in their own home. I hate it.
When I left my previous job it was something I really wanted to look into. How to find the tools so that children can manage their emotions, behavior, and self esteem. How they can learn to make friends. How they can learn to ask for help. Sometimes children can’t even identify their own feelings …. I learned so much at the course I did. It was well worth while.
So now I am qualified to teach teachers how to implement the programme, and I’m also qualified to teach it myself. I am thinking about offering after-school programmes because I believe that all children need it. Not only in Hamilton or its environs, or Auckland but across New Zealand It is so full of strategies, fun, discussion, learning and positivity …. and it’s the only programme of its kind which has the endorsement of the World Health Organisation.
I might post a link to the site if you want to find out more. I have to get busy now, because I need to write a proposal for someone that’s interested. Never a dull moment!
Wow it is a beautiful morning – well, as beautiful as it can be at 5.25am 
Today I have some questions for you, before I show you what I just found on the ‘net. It will keep you amused for hours, well, at least five minutes!
If you could have done two things differently in your life, what would they have been?
How would you describe your ‘perfect life?’
Are you living the life you really want?
Be brave, leave a comment or talk to me on yahoo messenger : coachdawn_newzealand
Here is the link I promised, enjoy! Visuwords
I know more than one couple who are planning their big days
It’s heartening to see that there is still romance in the world … most of the weddings I’ve been to have ended in divorce. Sometimes it was a foregone conclusion, sometimes it was out of the blue. A few people I know have been married a long time, but they are in the minority. My mum and dad have been married 42 years, and my sister and her husband celebrated their 11th wedding anniversary last week. A few of my friends have been married for years as well, but they are outnumbered by the amount of people I know who are divorced.
A lot of people haven’t actually seen a good marriage in action. They have no role models, they don’t know how it works. We all know it’s never happy ever after. Marriage has incredible highs, periods of drudgery, frustration, anger, laughter, boredom and pure fun. We all change, and the person we married will not be the same person twenty years on. I think with some people they fall into the patterns they saw growing up.
It’s easy to have a preconceived idea of what marriage should look like.
When I was growing up, there was never a mention of getting married. The emphasis was on education, being responsible and working hard. No one had a special bank account saving up for my wedding, no one expected the boyfriend to turn into The Husband. There was no pressure.
Where this caused problems was in my present relationship. I had learned to be very independent. My other half was brought up to look after women, to be the breadwinner and to take full responsibility for everything financial. Once we realised that we were on opposing sides (that’s not quite the right phrase, but it’ll have to do for now) things became a lot more understandable. I toned down my independent streak, and he learned to deal with a bit of the pressure he put on himself.
What examples of a good marriage have you seen?
What have you done lately to make your relationship a priority?
What are some of the barriers you face as you try to make time for yourselves as a couple?
Do you ever let work come between you?
Have you ever tried complimenting your partner using all the letters of the alphabet? oh I know, it sounds ridiculous, but it’s fun! I admire the way you work so hard. I love watching you play basketball. Thanks for cooking a yum dinner yesterday. I dreamed about you last night!
Finally I recommend the book Love Languages. It’s not heavy going to read, and it might surprise you.
If there’s anyone in Auckland who would like an introductory session + another session *free*, drop me a line. I will be in Aks definitely the 7th and 8th of July, possibly a little longer. I will be roaming around between Mount Wellington and the CBD, so if you’ve a favorite cafe somewhere in that vicinity we could meet up
I will be up there again in the week beginning the 14th July, and we can arrange a time that suits you for the second session.
The only catch to this brilliant offer (no free set of steak knives though, unfortunately) is that you’ll be happy to write a blog post for me. No identifying details, no gory in depth analysis, no parading of your private stuff all over the Internet – just a post about what the coaching process was like for you.
You can contact me at coachdawn(underscore)newzealand(at)yahoo(dot) com
I’ll assume you know how to read my code
Go on! it’ll be fun! and we’ll get to drink some good coffee as a bonus!
I just had to tell you that Otago is the most *beautiful* place, and if I had a view like yours from my kitchen window I’d be pretty happy too
A few months back you might remember that we drove down the West Coast of the South Island to do some work in Dunedin. This coincided nicely with the fact that we have family down there. It was the first time I’d been down the West Coast as we usually fly or go down the East … and I didn’t want to leave. It was the best time I’d had in ages. Maybe I will find some photos and post them tomorrow.
Went out with some mates this afternoon, which quickly turned into evening. If you are looking for a nice place to spend some time on a Saturday, try this.
The other half usually unfairly compares places like this with a pub he frequented when he was supposed to be at university :p The Cook is *apparently* the BEST and ONLY pub in the world, and nothing else compares. So there you go.
Do you say sorry when you haven’t done anything wrong?
Do you worry what other people think, even complete strangers whom you don’t know and are never likely to see again?
Do you ask for permission even when it is unnecessary?
Do you find it impossible to say no – even when you know you really need to, for one reason or another?
Do you try to restrain your natural reactions when you are recieving bad news? you don’t want to cause a scene or embarrass anyone …
Do you smile when giving someone else bad news, because you’re so nervous about how they’re going to react, and what they will feel, and what they might say, and how you’ll deal with it …..
Do you think/know that other people aren’t interested in your ideas, or what you have to say?
Do you often say things like “I have a question …” or “Is it ok if ….”
Do you ‘know’ whether or not people want you to do things, and adjust your behaviour accordingly?
Do you lend friends/acquaintances money and then feel unable to ask for it back? Then berate yourself because you needed that money in the first place, you wish you hadn’t agreed, and now your finances are going to be messed up for months …
Do you have friends who overstay their welcome? eg friends who come around for a coffee and end up staying for dinner and dessert even though you meant to be in bed early because you have a hard day at work tomorrow …
Do you end up doing things at work just because no one else wants to take them on?
Do you stay quiet during meetings?
Are you always the last to leave work because you’re busy tidying up other people’s jobs/messes?
Do you eat food that isn’t what you ordered/not up to standard in restaurants, instead of sending it back?
Do you put up with unwanted noise rather than asking the person to turn down their stereo/television etc?
Do you wait for your boss to offer you a raise instead of asking for one?
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Give yourself :
1 for Never
2 for Occasionally
3 for Often
4 for Always
If most of your answers are 1s and 2s ( Never or Occasionally), then you probably are a good judge of the appropriate behavior for the appropriate situation. Sometimes you end up doing things you’d rather not, or you berate yourself for changing your actions when you wish you hadn’t. But in general, things are not too bad. You’re not too worried about what other people think of you, because you know that it’s impossible for everyone to like everyone … so there’s no point in tiptoeing round to try and make everyone happy! In general you have fairly strong self-esteem, and you don’t often think self-denigrating thoughts. There might be a few areas in which you could fine tune things, but nothing major. However it might be that you’re in quite a comfort zone, and need some ideas for waking things up!
If most of your answers are 2s and 3s, there are likely to be some areas in your life that aren’t working as well as you’d like. A lot of the time you feel controlled by other people, and you are not that happy about it. The need to be a ‘nice person’ doesn’t rule your life, but it is a fairly strong influence on you. You’d like to feel a bit more comfortable with yourself and how you react to things. Sometimes you don’t have any problem at all sticking up for yourself and getting what you want. Other times you fee unable to stand up for yourself, and you get quite angry without actually voicing your feelings. What’s worse, you can’t work out why this is happening.
If most of your answers are 3s and 4s (Often and Always), then you already know how serious this is for you. You are a real ‘people-pleaser’ and it’s making you miserable. You are always doing what you think other people want. You would be mortified if you thought you’d annoyed someone, and get really upset about it. You try to live by other people’s rules and you find it very frustrating and worrying. You wish you could just ‘pull yourself together’ – you have very little compassion for yourself, and you think other people have a low opinion of you too.
I love long weekends – time to catch up with all the people I like the best
I will have an interesting exercise for you tomorrow. I am too comfortable and well fed to make any more effort now, so you’ll have to wait til then
Yesterday I looked after a class for a colleague, and we were all busy outside. One of the girls uses crutches and isn’t able to get around all that easily. She and I sat together for a while watching the others, and she decided to thread a handful of flowers into my hair. I had my hair in a very teacher-ish knot, and this kept her occupied for a little while
Then we did duties and the end of school routine, I talked to a couple of parents and went to the office to pick up my mail. Then I left school and went to the supermarket. After that I checked our postbox, and then I went home.
I did all the things I usually do and didn’t get to bed until fairly late. As I was undoing my hair I heard a very small, strange sound. It was a bunch of lavender/marigolds/wildflowers falling down on to my pillow.
I’d completely forgotten!
Who knows what the grownups who saw me thought, but I remembered this little girl chatting away to me happily so I didn’t mind too much. She is so sweet
Rising petrol prices …
the opportunity to stay home, to enjoy what we have instead of going out looking for more. The chance to really think about what we are doing, is it really necessary to go out yet again, could we have planned more efficiently? the chance to save time (as well as petrol) by doing everything in one outing, instead of going out multiple times in one day. Also (and this is a big one for a lot of people) do you *really* need a second car? we sold one of our cars years ago, and it was one of the best things we ever did. One set of tyres, one warrant, one registration. One petrol tank to fill All it takes is organisation. Our city has great buses, the supermarket and Westfield are not far away, we have biked there. We were born with legs, all you need is a backpack and some comfortable shoes and you’re set. Besides, we like to go places together. It would be just weird to be in separate cars now. We use the intercity buses weekly too for the times when one of us has to be out of town, or when the kids need to visit their dad. Look carefully at your situation if you have two cars … it’s very often a complete luxury and not a necessity at all.
Rising grocery prices …
the chance to really look closely at what we eat. How much of it comes out of a packet, how much of it is NOT healthy? how much of it is convenience – we’re tired, we work, we get home with aching feet and bleary eyes, all we want to do is eat as quickly as possible and fall into a chair. Is the freezer being used properly? do the kids like to cook? how can we simplify what we eat – not so much cooking, eating what’s in season? do the kids really need those expensive things to stock up their lunchboxes? do they need to drink juice instead of water (my experience is that kids will drink litres of water if it has ice-cubes … I have no idea why!) what do we really know about nutrition and its effects on our bodies? Cooking doesn’t need to be a horrible drama. Take turns to cook, keep a list of easy recipes. A pot of porridge is easily cooked in the morning and is way better than a bowl of CocoaPops. Do you have a breadmaker? (be careful, you might make a rod for your own back. The kids here don’t like bought bread of any kind now!) but the bread keeps them going for longer, it is more satisfying, and I have to confess I get a sneaky kind of smugness that I *make the bread*! Do you have a yoghurt maker? these are good too. Healthy *and* yummy, and way cheaper than buying the pottles. All you need are the little containers with red lids for lunches, and you’re set. Add fruit to the yoghurt, or even a little sprinkling of bulk bin dried fruit. Speaking of which, check out the bulk bins, they are great.
the economy is going from bad to worse …
an opportunity to look at mortgages and hire purchase agreements/bills, and see if they are being dealt with efficently. Paying a mortage fortnightly instead of monthly makes a huge difference. Is it an idea to talk to the bank, perhaps they will consolidate your loans or waive bank fees. Is money being wasted? what is a need as opposed to a want? Try using cash instead of EFTPOS, cut back on the cafe-lattes, don’t do takeaways any more. Read online or join the library instead of buying books and magazines. I know you always do a cold wash time peoples showers (we have a shower-hog in our house and we have to keep a close eye on them or else there would NEVER be hot water!) Plant some veges. Sell clothes you don’t need on TradeMe. Clean out your kitchen cupboards and sell things you don’t use or need. Give your kids a set amount of pocket money and don’t cave in when they want more. Handing out money indiscriminately is bad for your kids as well as for your wallet.
The news is so depressing …
turn off that tv and sit down to dinner at the table.
Don’t have music playing, just talk. Really talk.
Listening to the answers is not optional!
