Hi everyone!
Sorry about the silence. Things have been very busy here lately!
There will be changes coming to the site. We are having some design work done, so soon you will have new things to look at here.
In the meantime … I have been working on some really interesting situations. Don’t ever think that your particular needs are unusual, because I’m sure I’ve met up with just about everything you could possibly think of 
Scribble down some notes on what you’re thinking about, and give me a call. You know where to find the number on the site!
The new twins are doing well. We went down to see them yesterday. They were asleep for most of the time though … I had forgotten how small new babies are. They slept peacefully in their double pram, both covered in matching blankets that Mum knitted for them. My sister is looking very composed and relaxed for someone who had five children and jazz ballet exams in a town over 100k’s away in the weekend …
Christmas is coming. I can’t believe it! We have Christmas parties to go to already, so someone is organised out there
Is all your planning done? and if you leave a comment telling me all your Christmas shopping is done …. no, mine isn’t either! Consider me your personal Christmas wake-up call …
Filed under: Family
So many things going on for so many people!
I’ve had a lot of reschedules going on lately. I think things are just getting very busy for a lot of people – everyone’s trying to fit in another hours work into each day!
I want to welcome my sister and brother-in-laws new additions – *twins*! Hunter and Petra arrived early yesterday evening. Congratulations
FRIENDS for Life: The world’s leading resilience and life skills programme for primary and secondary school aged children. (the programmes are different to take into account the needs of pre-teens as well as teenagers). It can be used as both a treatment (clinic and pastoral care) and prevention (school based) programme for anxiety and depression, building self-esteem and social skills training.
Fun Friends: Adapted from the Friends for Life programme and designed specifically for 4, 5, and 6 year olds, Fun Friends teaches emotional resilience that will stay with young children for life. It can also be used in pre and primary schools as a prevention tool and in clinical groups as a treatment.
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This is the training I did a month or so ago.
My daughter came home from school the other day with one of those *ahem* books on puberty that schools give out. While I appreciate what they’re doing, I didn’t appreciate the mention of anorexia and bulimia in the book. So much of what children are taught is so negative. How to protect themselves from drugs, alcohol, peer pressure, dangerous strangers or dangerous people in their own home. I hate it.
When I left my previous job it was something I really wanted to look into. How to find the tools so that children can manage their emotions, behavior, and self esteem. How they can learn to make friends. How they can learn to ask for help. Sometimes children can’t even identify their own feelings …. I learned so much at the course I did. It was well worth while.
So now I am qualified to teach teachers how to implement the programme, and I’m also qualified to teach it myself. I am thinking about offering after-school programmes because I believe that all children need it. Not only in Hamilton or its environs, or Auckland but across New Zealand It is so full of strategies, fun, discussion, learning and positivity …. and it’s the only programme of its kind which has the endorsement of the World Health Organisation.
I might post a link to the site if you want to find out more. I have to get busy now, because I need to write a proposal for someone that’s interested. Never a dull moment!
grr, I tried to paste the code in to show you *my* result, and it won’t work. It is BROKEN. I’ll have to wait until my resident geek comes back and see if he can make it go.
Also! breaking news, fresh in! crossing to live feed now …
I finished an exam this morning and emailed it off to be marked. It was *hard*. I have to confess that half way through I thought why on earth am I doing this, when I left school I swore I’d never ever do any exams every again, but never mind, it was eye opening and made me think about my coaching practice. Always a good thing. I am always researching and talking to other coaches and reflecting on what I do, but a written exam has a way of cutting to the chase, so to speak!
Last but not least, here is a picture of the latest addition for you. Now, seriously, on record so you can all mock and point if I ever go back on my words …. no more pets. NO MORE PETS!
Gotta love that waggy tail!
- The newest addition
Filed under: Family
I had a perfectly tidy, perfectly clean house. And NO ONE CAME TO SEE ME!!!
The next day I decided to start work on our third bedroom. I left the rest of the house while I did this, and the kids amused themselves, grabbed their stuff etc. I didn’t take much notice cos I was busy stripping wallpaper and making a terrible mess.
That afternoon I came back out to the dining room, looked around – mourned briefly for the disappearance of my tidy house … and started making a cup of tea. Priorities, after all :p
Then there was a KNOCK ON THE DOOR.
Why does this always happen when my house looks like a tornado hit it?!
Does this happen to you too? please tell me it does!
Filed under: Family
my username. Oh I know, call me stupid … “stupid!!” How could I have forgotten a thing like that? because I usually have my laptop set to automatically log me in. But because one of the kids watched over my shoulder and realised what my password was (the one to get into my laptop!!) I changed/wiped everything …
Anyway now we’ve got my attack of stupid-itis out of the way …
Today was the end of an era really. It was my final day at the school I have been teaching at for the past six and a half years. We had an assembly this afternoon which was really fun, even though I don’t like being in the spotlight. Luckily for me, it was the last day for the boss as well which took a bit of the heat off
I had such fantastic colleagues there. So much of what teachers do is behind the scenes. They work so hard and the hours are so long. I can imagine what you’re thinking – ‘but they have such long holidays!’ In my experience most teachers start to get sick towards the end of the term, because they’re exposed to all the usual children’s germs, and the hours are so long that they become exhausted as time goes by. So they spend half the holidays struggling to get their health in order, and then the second half doing their planning etc for the next term.
So I wish everyone there all the best and I certainly plan on dropping in for festivals etc. Here is a link.
Next week I’ll be in Auckland for training for my new job. I am really looking forward to it. But I am also VERY FRIGHTENED. It is going to be a huge change and a big step out of my comfort zone. Which I need. I was a bit frightened I was getting into a rut. Now I have the chance to learn new things and push myself. I will also have more time available for coaching. Sometimes the two days a week I had available was not enough. Also waiting to hear back about something else I’m interested in, so cross your fingers
School holidays! do you look forward to them? or do you have the stress of finding day care for your kids? I always, without fail hear someone saying “oh these kids, I can’t wait til they go back to school”.
It’s amazing how quickly kids grow. I remember someone saying this to me when I was knee-deep in nappies and stretch-n-gro’s, and I thought they were completely mad. I also met up with a girl I’d gone to primary school with – I had two children under 4, and she told me very smugly that her kids were at college!
What can I say? I’m a late bloomer
But now my kids are 11 (12 in October) and 14. While it is very fun and exciting to see what sort of people they’re growing into, it’s also sad in a way. I feel nostalgic for the days when I was pretty much the center of their worlds. Now they have their social lives (more than I do!) and are becoming more and more independent. I sneak into their rooms when they are asleep, and I can still see traces of their baby-faces. They wouldn’t like it that I was telling you this, though ….
so wherever you are, whatever stage your kids are at, take a good look at them. See how they are growing up and how their faces are changing. Soon they will be grownups, and the ‘child’ stage will be only a memory.
Make the most of this time
You know, I used to think that having a housekeeper would be *absolutely brilliant*. I thought that it would solve all those mess problems, I’d never have to stress, or clean anything, and my house would always be perfect.
It didn’t turn out like that.
A few years ago I was under a lot of pressure at work, and I was going from one stressful situation to another. I was drained, quite frankly. So I found a housekeeper, thinking that this would be a great solution. I imagined coming home from a hard day at work to find a shining home, all warm and with everything organised, so I could just flop down in a heap with not a care in the world. There were only a few light jobs I asked her to do, and she agreed to mind the kids as well.
Well I will never know how the housekeeper managed to avoid being electrocuted when she spilled a bucket of water over the carpet – and tried to vacuum it up.
There were a few incidents like this. But what finally made my mind up?
I came home after a day of work, and a late meeting which involved a lot of decision making and a lot of pressure. I pulled into the driveway and noticed that all the lights were ablaze. I went in, to find the housekeeper sitting comfortably at the table reading a magazine. Not a sign of my kids. I questioned her and found that they were ‘out’. She had no idea where and didn’t know when they were coming back.
I panicked.
My kids, at the time, were ten and eight. It was almost dark.
Turns out the son had gone off on his bike to visit my great aunt and uncle, who lived a few streets away. They were in their nineties, and probably didn’t really appreciate a late visit. They had their dinner early, so would’ve been getting ready for bed when boy-on-a-bicycle turned up. The daughter didn’t want to be left behind, so she followed.
Meanwhile the housekeeper was making the most of a chance to put her feet up.
That was the last time she minded my kids.
So after that I decided that I needed to look at things in a different way. I’ve tried a few different systems, and the worst one was not expecting the kids to help. I found that they began to take things for granted, and their view of my role was skewed, to say the very least. So now here is what I do. I don’t look at housework as being drudgery. I really appreciate all the hard work that goes into paying the mortgage, and I am lucky to have somewhere to live that I like. Our house is small, but it is comfortable and it has lots of potential. It is also in a really good situation. Everything is handy to us, and we have room to expand if we decide to. I also like the house to be at its best, because I hate drama and mess and people running around looking for things. I like a peaceful atmosphere, and I like everyone to have some ownership of our home which does not happen when Mum is being the drudge and everyone else is relaxing wondering out loud what’s for dinner? And are my PE clothes ready for tomorrow? And where is my library book?
The easiest way I have found, is to use my Palm.
These things are a necessity, in my opinion. You can also at a pinch use an online calendar. You need something that is foolproof and easy to set up. Add all the birthdays, the sports practices, the days people will be home late. Everything that has a set time. Even add in peoples work hours.
Then you look at what needs doing in your home, and you share it out. You see who has what after school, and you add in their homework times, and then you share the jobs out so everyone has their activities. If you want your kids to put out the recycling, you can add a reminder to get it organised the night before. You can make it repeat on that day of the week. As you know I have a shower-fanatic in my house, so I have alternated days that the fanatic gets first shower. Person with the second shower gets to clean the bathroom. It is working out fantastically well. It also means the ‘cleaning and tidying’ housework is spread out across the week and it’s not taking up all your Saturday morning. Your house will always be presentable and you’ll have more time and energy. It saves arguments about who cleaned what and whose turn it is next.
Try it and see what you think
ps I have heard there’s a Yahoo calendar that’s quite good … I’ll see if I can find a link.
I just had to tell you that Otago is the most *beautiful* place, and if I had a view like yours from my kitchen window I’d be pretty happy too
A few months back you might remember that we drove down the West Coast of the South Island to do some work in Dunedin. This coincided nicely with the fact that we have family down there. It was the first time I’d been down the West Coast as we usually fly or go down the East … and I didn’t want to leave. It was the best time I’d had in ages. Maybe I will find some photos and post them tomorrow.
Went out with some mates this afternoon, which quickly turned into evening. If you are looking for a nice place to spend some time on a Saturday, try this.
The other half usually unfairly compares places like this with a pub he frequented when he was supposed to be at university :p The Cook is *apparently* the BEST and ONLY pub in the world, and nothing else compares. So there you go.
I’ve spent some of today doing some pre-winter cleaning. A friend dropped in to visit, and we were talking about how we both like to get organised before winter really sets in. Think about it – do you really want to be stuck inside a messy, unorganised grubby house looking out at the wet cold weather? Not me. I’d much rather be tucked up inside a clean, warm, welcoming house for the winter months!
I’ve been trialling using vinegar/baking soda etc for cleaning products. So far I’m pretty impressed. The vinegar smell does go away as the surface dries. Baking soda and vinegar really brought a shine to the stainless steel base of the kids shower so that was great. You don’t need terribly much more elbow grease either (I’ve no plans to spend my life doing housework or developing huge arms!)
Sometimes I look around and think we could do with a bigger house, or new furniture, etc. But then I think of someone we know who has a ‘gorgeous’ home, beautiful new furniture and everything anyone could ask for. But they are pretty unhappy at the moment. They are overextended, unhappy, getting very short tempered and generally feeling pretty miserable. So I am happy with where I am, and it’s no hassle to me creating a nice clean warm place to spend the winter :0
Finally on a plane that’s far away from anything I can afford … have a look at this site. Just beautiful Go to ‘projects‘ and enjoy, daydream, or just generally gnash your teeth in complete envy! 
I have huge respect for people who can create on this scale. I don’t know where you would start to be able to complete projects like this. Sure, I’m like anyone – I know what I like (and I’ve got VERY definite ideas!) but to see everything put together in ways like this is just stunning. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to ’see’ this in your head, and know the steps to take to make it a reality …
I suppose it’s like eating an elephant, or bringing up kids, or building a great life. One step at a time
Rising petrol prices …
the opportunity to stay home, to enjoy what we have instead of going out looking for more. The chance to really think about what we are doing, is it really necessary to go out yet again, could we have planned more efficiently? the chance to save time (as well as petrol) by doing everything in one outing, instead of going out multiple times in one day. Also (and this is a big one for a lot of people) do you *really* need a second car? we sold one of our cars years ago, and it was one of the best things we ever did. One set of tyres, one warrant, one registration. One petrol tank to fill All it takes is organisation. Our city has great buses, the supermarket and Westfield are not far away, we have biked there. We were born with legs, all you need is a backpack and some comfortable shoes and you’re set. Besides, we like to go places together. It would be just weird to be in separate cars now. We use the intercity buses weekly too for the times when one of us has to be out of town, or when the kids need to visit their dad. Look carefully at your situation if you have two cars … it’s very often a complete luxury and not a necessity at all.
Rising grocery prices …
the chance to really look closely at what we eat. How much of it comes out of a packet, how much of it is NOT healthy? how much of it is convenience – we’re tired, we work, we get home with aching feet and bleary eyes, all we want to do is eat as quickly as possible and fall into a chair. Is the freezer being used properly? do the kids like to cook? how can we simplify what we eat – not so much cooking, eating what’s in season? do the kids really need those expensive things to stock up their lunchboxes? do they need to drink juice instead of water (my experience is that kids will drink litres of water if it has ice-cubes … I have no idea why!) what do we really know about nutrition and its effects on our bodies? Cooking doesn’t need to be a horrible drama. Take turns to cook, keep a list of easy recipes. A pot of porridge is easily cooked in the morning and is way better than a bowl of CocoaPops. Do you have a breadmaker? (be careful, you might make a rod for your own back. The kids here don’t like bought bread of any kind now!) but the bread keeps them going for longer, it is more satisfying, and I have to confess I get a sneaky kind of smugness that I *make the bread*! Do you have a yoghurt maker? these are good too. Healthy *and* yummy, and way cheaper than buying the pottles. All you need are the little containers with red lids for lunches, and you’re set. Add fruit to the yoghurt, or even a little sprinkling of bulk bin dried fruit. Speaking of which, check out the bulk bins, they are great.
the economy is going from bad to worse …
an opportunity to look at mortgages and hire purchase agreements/bills, and see if they are being dealt with efficently. Paying a mortage fortnightly instead of monthly makes a huge difference. Is it an idea to talk to the bank, perhaps they will consolidate your loans or waive bank fees. Is money being wasted? what is a need as opposed to a want? Try using cash instead of EFTPOS, cut back on the cafe-lattes, don’t do takeaways any more. Read online or join the library instead of buying books and magazines. I know you always do a cold wash time peoples showers (we have a shower-hog in our house and we have to keep a close eye on them or else there would NEVER be hot water!) Plant some veges. Sell clothes you don’t need on TradeMe. Clean out your kitchen cupboards and sell things you don’t use or need. Give your kids a set amount of pocket money and don’t cave in when they want more. Handing out money indiscriminately is bad for your kids as well as for your wallet.
The news is so depressing …
turn off that tv and sit down to dinner at the table.
Don’t have music playing, just talk. Really talk.
Listening to the answers is not optional!
