Hi everyone!
Sorry about the silence. Things have been very busy here lately!
There will be changes coming to the site. We are having some design work done, so soon you will have new things to look at here.
In the meantime … I have been working on some really interesting situations. Don’t ever think that your particular needs are unusual, because I’m sure I’ve met up with just about everything you could possibly think of 
Scribble down some notes on what you’re thinking about, and give me a call. You know where to find the number on the site!
The new twins are doing well. We went down to see them yesterday. They were asleep for most of the time though … I had forgotten how small new babies are. They slept peacefully in their double pram, both covered in matching blankets that Mum knitted for them. My sister is looking very composed and relaxed for someone who had five children and jazz ballet exams in a town over 100k’s away in the weekend …
Christmas is coming. I can’t believe it! We have Christmas parties to go to already, so someone is organised out there
Is all your planning done? and if you leave a comment telling me all your Christmas shopping is done …. no, mine isn’t either! Consider me your personal Christmas wake-up call …
I’ve talked to a few people lately about career issues … it’s ranged from selecting options at high school, to people in their 20’s who aren’t sure they’re on the right career path … to people who think they are stuck in dead end jobs because they don’t know what they want to do.
Think about this : 40 is the new 30. ‘Middle age’ stretches into the 50s. People are getting married at 50, 60, and 70. If you’re 25 and unmarried it’s no longer unusual. People are having first children in their 40s and 50s. So why on earth do we think that people should know what their career path will be when they’re 21?
Realising what you want to do is a lot easier if you look back at the things you’ve enjoyed. A job/career doesn’t have to be a grind. Think of the things you enjoy and are happy about doing. Don’t think about money, or status, or who has the best parking space – think about what makes *you* happy.
The other thing to consider is that career paths are constantly changing and evolving. A lot of jobs around are thing that weren’t even heard of when I left school! (and I’m not that old, so sssh!) People are retraining, going on courses, seminars, upskilling and gaining new qualifications.
If you’re stuck in a job that you don’t like, sit down and think hard about what it is that’s upsetting you.
- it’s boring, my mind wanders, and I’m not learning anything
- there’s no one around my own age
- I don’t like the corporate culture
- I’m not making enough money and I feel undervalued
- I am sick of being stuck inside, I’d rather be out and about
- I prefer working with the elderly, they really interest me
- there’s too much pressure, I find it hard to switch off after work
- I want to be my own boss, I’m sick of management types telling me what to do, and I think I’m ready to take the plunge …
There can be a number of things that aren’t right for you. But don’t ever think you’re stuck there. There are a number of options you can take. The bad thing is that if you’re stuck in a job you don’t like, it messes with your self esteem. If you want to do something, break it down into little steps. Investigate re-training options, look at working part time in the field you think you might like, talk to other people who are doing jobs that you think are interesting. Make a list of the most improbably interesting jobs you can think of, think about being self employed.
To summarise – it’s never too late. You always have options.
There’s always something more interesting to do than writing a report, cleaning the bathroom, doing your GST or working overtime.
There’s always someone online searching for ways to motivate themselves to do the boring, the nasty, and the just plain old horrible jobs that they don’t want to.
What bores me might fascinate you, but that’s not the point!
1. Set yourself 15 minutes to work really hard on the boring job. Tell yourself you only have to do 15 minutes then you’re allowed to stop. Chances are you’ll be on a roll and will get a lot more achieved than you originally thought.
2. Get some company. It might be someone to come with you on the daily walk you know you should be doing. It might be a trainer once a week at the gym. It might be a mentor, or a coach, or your sister. Company makes things easier and you can both complain about the boring job at the same time
3. Write about what’s going on. You can do this in a Word document and stash it somewhere secret on your hard drive. Or you can buy a gorgeous blank notebook and use that. But write about it – all the benefits of it, why it will make your life easier, why it might get you more money.
4. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. Don’t be tempted to agree to a deadline you know will be impossible. Negotiate some extra time so you can do a really good job. When you finish earlier you’ll be proud of yourself, and the other stakeholders will be impressed
5. Break boring things into smaller tasks. It’s all very well to say ‘this house is a tip, I want it clean by tomorrow’. Come on, you know that’s not going to happen. Start with the area that annoys you the most. Start with the front entrance, or the kitchen. Start with your bedroom so you have somewhere nice to retreat to at the end of the day.
6. If you’re writing the boring report I mentioned earlier – or any piece of writing there are several tricks you can use. Firstly, look carefully at what is required. Don’t go off on tangents, stick to the subject. Less work, less stress and much more professional. Begin your document by working out a topic sentence for each part you need to address. Topic sentences are the beginnings of paragraphs, and they usually are an overview of what the paragraph will be about. This way you organise your thoughts, your document will be well organised, and you won’t forget to include essential points.
You can also turn your monitor light right down, and use a stream of consciousness method. You will obviously not be able to see what you’ve typed, and this will get the creativity going. This method will not give you a finished product, but if you type all your ideas completely randomly you will be able to organise them later into the broad idea of your document. This method will sometimes bring out points you hadn’t planned on adding, which can be interesting and useful for another perspective.
Don’t plan on perfection for the first draft. No one ever gets perfection the first time. Use the 15 minute method and just TYPE!
7. Make yourself a chart As I said before, break your goal down into parts, and give yourself a tick every time you complete a part. This will also help you sort out the specifics of what needs doing. You will be able to see at a glance where you are and what you need to work on next.
8. Ask for help if you’re stuck. It is much better to ask for help before a deadline, than to sheepishly admit that something hasn’t been done.
9. Think about your efficiency. If you’re trying to complete a task in a noisy room, or while kids are running around, or while the rest of the office is having Friday afternoon drinks – STOP. Think about what you need to work effectively and make sure you get it. Look at your timetable for the day and organise things to suit yourself as much as possible. You might need silence, or background noise, or a good supply of water. Make sure you get it.
10. Find a picture which illustrates your completed goal. If it’s a work thing you’re dealing with, focus on the pay rise, the holiday plans, the increased income. Even the compliment from your boss. If it’s a home thing, visualise the outcome. Look around online for your picture or even in magazines from your house. Make yourself a poster and put it somewhere you’ll see it every day. Look at it intently, focus on it, imagine yourself on a better path. Be determined to get there.
Because everyone deserves to have a happy life.
As we all know, life does not always give us what we want. The life we want requires effort, struggle, passion, frustration and that favorite word – motivation. You are improving yourself every time you struggle … it’s just hard to see sometimes. Think carefully about the big picture of how you want things to be, and the boring stuff won’t be so boring any more. It’s just one more step towards your goal.
The truly peculiar thing about time management … is that there are 24 hours. Every day. No exceptions.
So why do some people get so much done? they write a chapter of their future best selling novel, they whip up a batch of scones for a fundraiser, they milk 400 cows twice a day, they deal with kids dropoffs and pickups, they have a sparkly floor, dinner isn’t late and they still get to watch some tv.
Other people are at work before everyone else, in a suit without any wrinkles. They have three meetings and a team breakfast, a meeting with their manager and their managers manager. They do lunch at that nice place in Ponsonby, then they clear up various emergencies while speaking nicely to clients on the phone. They drop off their dry cleaning, they go to the gym, they go out to dinner and then they walk the dog.
It makes me tired just typing it 
so what is the secret? we all get the 24 hours ….
and by the way I just had to do a tiny skite here, my idol sent me a text today to tell me I did 96% on my latest coaching exam
grr, I tried to paste the code in to show you *my* result, and it won’t work. It is BROKEN. I’ll have to wait until my resident geek comes back and see if he can make it go.
Also! breaking news, fresh in! crossing to live feed now …
I finished an exam this morning and emailed it off to be marked. It was *hard*. I have to confess that half way through I thought why on earth am I doing this, when I left school I swore I’d never ever do any exams every again, but never mind, it was eye opening and made me think about my coaching practice. Always a good thing. I am always researching and talking to other coaches and reflecting on what I do, but a written exam has a way of cutting to the chase, so to speak!
Last but not least, here is a picture of the latest addition for you. Now, seriously, on record so you can all mock and point if I ever go back on my words …. no more pets. NO MORE PETS!
Gotta love that waggy tail!
- The newest addition
What colour is your house? where did you go to primary school? what sort of car do you drive?
Did you notice that while you were reading, the answers were in your mind almost immediately?
The strange thing about our minds is that they are always looking for the answers to questions. Throughout your life you are building such an immense store of knowledge, and it all cross checks with itself. The brain comes up with answers to support a question based on a variety of scenarios. Unfortunately, some of these are … somewhat biased.
So when you wake up in the morning and your first thought is why don’t I ever have enough time? your brain will come up with answers to that exact question.
I’m overloaded at work, there’s no hope of catching up. There aren’t enough hours in the day. I’m so busy I never have time for myself. I’m a working parent with three kids. If my flatmate/kids would only tidy up after themselves … I’m the only person who can get it done properly. No one else ever takes responsibility. I don’t have time to take a full hour for lunch. I haven’t got time ….
see how it works?
You’re dooming yourself to a horrible day before you even get out of bed.
Try Why do I always have enough time to do what I want?
It’s such a little thing but it is so powerful. The thing is, you won’t believe it until you try it.
Have a lovely Wednesday – it is 6.00am and the rain is beating down on the roof. Gusts of wind. But both the cats are inside and I have lots of things to do, the garden will grow and while it’s raining so hard it can’t be freezing cold, so hey
Filed under: Coaching
Just a note :
(remember how I told you we were upgrading some office equipment?)
As part of that I now have a landline number for you. You can find it at the top of the blog, to the left, underneath the grass You won’t have to make those expensive cellphone calls to get hold of me …
Don’t stress if you need to call after office hours, you can still leave me a message and I will return your call.
The wonders of modern technology, gotta love it!
dawn (at) mirrorconsulting.co.nz
Somewhere else on the net, I saw someone asking advice about a ‘weight coach’.
I have to confess I haven’t done this as a separate, specially negotiated thing. It seems to happen as a side issue. In a first session it might come out as one of the areas that is worrying the client. So we might walk while we’re doing our sessions, or I might gently keep them on track as they go. Sometimes having someone to ‘report’ to makes all the difference. Especially when the person is not going to be judgmental, or laugh, or anything awful like that.
Anyway, the person that I was talking to online had met with a ‘weight coach’ for a first session. The person advertised themselves as being very good at neurolinguistic programming. The session was supposed to take three hours (!) and at the end of it the coach told the person that they couldn’t coach them, that was the end, have a nice life.
The person was devastated. They thought there was something wrong with them, they hadn’t given the right answers, there was something so wrong with them and they were a fatally flawed human being.
They were also embarrassed that the coach had probed into some quite deepseated and emotional issues. The person felt shy to talk like that because after all, they had just met the coach. They felt that three hours was a long time to focus so intently, in short they felt uncomfortable and put on the spot.
What a shame 
Personally I think it is good to keep a first session – an introductory session, as this was supposed to be – to a shorter time period. I wouldn’t go too intently into details of specifics – I like to meet the person, see how they communicate, how they use language, see what is worrying them and where they are not satisfied with aspects of their life. I don’t think it’s the session to work miracles and magically sort every issue that has ever been.
If I had reason to think I couldn’t help the client, I would recommend someone who I thought could. I might think another professional would have better solutions, or there might be things the client could do which would work better.
I hope this situation didn’t put that person off, because from what I’ve seen of them they communicate perfectly well, there are a lot of strategies that they could use that wouldn’t stress them, and wouldn’t interrupt the parts of their life that are ticking along quite nicely. Let’s face it. Weight is never a straightforward issue. You can’t just sign up to the gym and see your life transformed in a month.
You also can’t be expected to instantly trust someone to let them into all your innermost thoughts and feelings. It takes a little time for things like that to evolve. The good thing is however, that a coaching relationship is ’specific’. There is a purpose to it. It’s not as if you’re wondering whether to go out with the person, or move into their flat. One of the things we learn in our training is to gently, and unobtrusively keep the person on track. They are paying for results. It is all about them. It’s not about spending an hour discussing the rotten government (did I just type that?!), or how the kids are getting on, or random social things.
It is all about the client. It’s about you, and how you can alter things, recreate things, address issues and sort your life out to suit yourself.
Fun
Wow it is a beautiful morning – well, as beautiful as it can be at 5.25am
Today I have some questions for you, before I show you what I just found on the ‘net. It will keep you amused for hours, well, at least five minutes!
If you could have done two things differently in your life, what would they have been?
How would you describe your ‘perfect life?’
Are you living the life you really want?
Be brave, leave a comment or talk to me on yahoo messenger : coachdawn_newzealand
Here is the link I promised, enjoy! Visuwords
Hi there, did you miss me?
Back from Auckland now, it was lots of fun up there. I met some people I really liked, and caught up on some things that needed doing as well. Now I am at home sorting through debris from my old job and preparing for an upgrade to our office systems. This will happen on Monday and it is really exciting!
So anyway I am close by and you can find me on yahoo messenger: coachdawn_newzealand
Talk to you soon!
