If there’s anyone in Auckland who would like an introductory session + another session *free*, drop me a line. I will be in Aks definitely the 7th and 8th of July, possibly a little longer. I will be roaming around between Mount Wellington and the CBD, so if you’ve a favorite cafe somewhere in that vicinity we could meet up 
I will be up there again in the week beginning the 14th July, and we can arrange a time that suits you for the second session.
The only catch to this brilliant offer (no free set of steak knives though, unfortunately) is that you’ll be happy to write a blog post for me. No identifying details, no gory in depth analysis, no parading of your private stuff all over the Internet – just a post about what the coaching process was like for you.
You can contact me at coachdawn(underscore)newzealand(at)yahoo(dot) com
I’ll assume you know how to read my code
Go on! it’ll be fun! and we’ll get to drink some good coffee as a bonus!
Filed under: Organisation
Here’s a list of useful stuff I think everyone should have …
- a cellphone that does bluetooth so you can drive hands free. Why end up dead for the sake of a few dollars?
- a tape measure – preferably one that’s put back in the same place each time.
- a hammer.
- a stepladder. I never realised how useful these were until the Man About the House bought one.
- a Leatherman. Mine lives in my handbag, and it’s been used for so many bizarre things …
- a laptop computer. Makes work seem so much easier and you can work wherever you like!
- some sort of alarm on your cellphone (I’m assuming you carry a cellphone). Set it to remind you of things that slip your mind – when to get up (grin), five minutes before a meeting, all that.
- a really good set of kitchen knives, not the lightweight ones, but good solid steel. Preferably with a strong set of scissors.
- a Palm, or at the very least a notebook that stays in your bag, with pen attached. Get into the habit of writing things down, even if you’re sure you’ll remember. One of the first symptoms of stress is forgetting the silly things, let alone phone numbers and appointments.
- sunglasses – avoid headaches and eyestrain. Not to mention the long term effects on your eyesight.
- rechargable batteries and a battery recharger. I hate buying batteries.
- a small plastic bag containing the following – a few sticking plasters, a couple of panadeine, a couple of twist ties, a spare blister pack of medications you might be taking, girl essential things if you happen to be a girl, an emergency ten dollar note, a couple of rubber bands. Throw it in your handbag where it’s easy to get to.
- speaking of handbags (sorry guys!) make sure your everyday bag is serving your needs. I have one that’s distressed leather and *beautiful* but it’s too deep. Things go in there and vanish, never to be seen again. If you’re constantly scrabbling around in your bag, can’t find the things you need, and it’s driving you crazy look around for something more suited to your needs. Life is too short to lose stuff in a stupid bag. Or maybe wear cargo pants
Came back to add just two more things. Hand sanitizer. You can get it from the chemists in little bottles suitable for stashing when you’re out and about. Let’s face it, the everyday germs in your own house won’t hurt you – it’s the ‘foreign’ ones when you’re out that might do the damage. I work in a school. Believe me, those places are a hive of bacteria, and this stuff is great! The second thing is dental floss. It works for really strong sewing thread in an emergency, and it saves you from those social gaffes of having grotesque green things stuck in your teeth at inopportune moments!
You know, I used to think that having a housekeeper would be *absolutely brilliant*. I thought that it would solve all those mess problems, I’d never have to stress, or clean anything, and my house would always be perfect.
It didn’t turn out like that.
A few years ago I was under a lot of pressure at work, and I was going from one stressful situation to another. I was drained, quite frankly. So I found a housekeeper, thinking that this would be a great solution. I imagined coming home from a hard day at work to find a shining home, all warm and with everything organised, so I could just flop down in a heap with not a care in the world. There were only a few light jobs I asked her to do, and she agreed to mind the kids as well.
Well I will never know how the housekeeper managed to avoid being electrocuted when she spilled a bucket of water over the carpet – and tried to vacuum it up.
There were a few incidents like this. But what finally made my mind up?
I came home after a day of work, and a late meeting which involved a lot of decision making and a lot of pressure. I pulled into the driveway and noticed that all the lights were ablaze. I went in, to find the housekeeper sitting comfortably at the table reading a magazine. Not a sign of my kids. I questioned her and found that they were ‘out’. She had no idea where and didn’t know when they were coming back.
I panicked.
My kids, at the time, were ten and eight. It was almost dark.
Turns out the son had gone off on his bike to visit my great aunt and uncle, who lived a few streets away. They were in their nineties, and probably didn’t really appreciate a late visit. They had their dinner early, so would’ve been getting ready for bed when boy-on-a-bicycle turned up. The daughter didn’t want to be left behind, so she followed.
Meanwhile the housekeeper was making the most of a chance to put her feet up.
That was the last time she minded my kids.
So after that I decided that I needed to look at things in a different way. I’ve tried a few different systems, and the worst one was not expecting the kids to help. I found that they began to take things for granted, and their view of my role was skewed, to say the very least. So now here is what I do. I don’t look at housework as being drudgery. I really appreciate all the hard work that goes into paying the mortgage, and I am lucky to have somewhere to live that I like. Our house is small, but it is comfortable and it has lots of potential. It is also in a really good situation. Everything is handy to us, and we have room to expand if we decide to. I also like the house to be at its best, because I hate drama and mess and people running around looking for things. I like a peaceful atmosphere, and I like everyone to have some ownership of our home which does not happen when Mum is being the drudge and everyone else is relaxing wondering out loud what’s for dinner? And are my PE clothes ready for tomorrow? And where is my library book?
The easiest way I have found, is to use my Palm.
These things are a necessity, in my opinion. You can also at a pinch use an online calendar. You need something that is foolproof and easy to set up. Add all the birthdays, the sports practices, the days people will be home late. Everything that has a set time. Even add in peoples work hours.
Then you look at what needs doing in your home, and you share it out. You see who has what after school, and you add in their homework times, and then you share the jobs out so everyone has their activities. If you want your kids to put out the recycling, you can add a reminder to get it organised the night before. You can make it repeat on that day of the week. As you know I have a shower-fanatic in my house, so I have alternated days that the fanatic gets first shower. Person with the second shower gets to clean the bathroom. It is working out fantastically well. It also means the ‘cleaning and tidying’ housework is spread out across the week and it’s not taking up all your Saturday morning. Your house will always be presentable and you’ll have more time and energy. It saves arguments about who cleaned what and whose turn it is next.
Try it and see what you think
ps I have heard there’s a Yahoo calendar that’s quite good … I’ll see if I can find a link.
As you all know by now, I’m generally fairly optimistic about life. I don’t walk around waiting for the sky to fall, or expecting awful things to happen on a daily basis. But I am amazed at how many people seem to live in a perpetual state of gloom!
I’m about to transition from a job I’ve had for six and a half years, to something new. It’s exciting, and I’m not worried about it at all. I’m looking forward to a change of environment, to meeting new people, to learning new skills. Even a different way of getting to work, possibly. But a couple of people have told me how nervous they would be, and wondered aloud if I’m doing the right thing, if I’m scared that it won’t work out?
Not at all. I can see they think I’m impossibly naïve. But I don’t want to spend time and energy worrying about something that’s going to happen. I think it’s all in my attitude. If you were at work, and a new person came in, would you be inclined to make their life any easier if they were scowling, grumpy, and gloomy about everything?
Nope, didn’t think so.
It is just as easy to imagine the best possible outcome, as it is to imagine doom and gloom. It might take a bit of practice – especially if you’ve been stuck in a negative mindset for a while.
Be prepared. You will be more prone to stress if your life is out of control, you can’t find your house key and the pantry is bare. Look at your organizational methods and see if there’s any tiny habit you can incorporate to make your life easier, and to make sure you’re prepared. It doesn’t have to be a huge step – just something small. I will give you a rather flippant sounding example! I usually keep the umbrellas hanging up in our garage, all ready to take in the car if I’m going out. Isn’t that organised? Isn’t that helpful? NO it certainly wasn’t. When I go to work in the morning I am not thinking about sensible things – I have a system for my laptop and my handbag, and somehow the umbrella got left along the way. So the other day the other half put the umbrella in the boot of the car.
Now, I never use an umbrella unless I’m at work, where I’m required to zoom between one building or another, or to be on duty. So keeping it in the car is the most sensible thing to do and doesn’t rely on me having the sense and foresight to grab it in the morning. It sounds like such a tiny thing, but I was so delighted to see it in the boot the other day when it was pouring and I was about to go on duty!
So if you think about things, and organise them in the ways that suit you, you’ll have less to stress about and more time to enjoy your life. Those little stupid things that crop up to annoy you will fade away.
Some more time and stress saving ideas, off the top of my head :
Keep a packet of baby wipes in the car for when people mess up (just the cheap ones in the big container are good).
Throw a sticking plaster or two in a spare pocket of your bag – good for blisters on heels or those savage paper cuts, lol.
If you’re taking medication keep a spare packet in your bag – if you forget in the morning you’ll still have some to take anyway.
Make sure you plug in your laptop when you’re working at home so the battery is charged when you go out – you won’t have to think about it.
Throw a couple of muesli bars in the bottom of your bag for days when you can’t get out for lunch.
Put a couple of those sticky hooks on the back of your kitchen cupboard, and *always* keep your keys there. They’re hidden from public view, but you always know where they are.
If you are given change when you’re out shopping, put it in the same pocket in the car every time, that way you’ll always have money for meters (unless you have kids like mine, who search the car for lolly money, grr).
Next time I’ll write about a cunning way I’ve found to get rid of housework …
I just have to make a point here, so bear with me. Normal transmission will be resumed tomorrow.
The way to keep people happy is NOT to force them into working 17 hours straight in a high stress environment, without even the chance to take a five minute break or have something to eat.
I don’t care if there is no one else that can do the job. I think it is terrible to take advantage of someone’s sense of responsibility like this. I think it is terrible that for months management has known that there is no one else who can fulfill this particular set of responsibilities, and yet they have done nothing about it.
I certainly would like to give you the name of this company, and a few more stories on the ways they fail their employees. In fact I am *itching* to.
Maybe tomorrow.
I just had to tell you that Otago is the most *beautiful* place, and if I had a view like yours from my kitchen window I’d be pretty happy too
A few months back you might remember that we drove down the West Coast of the South Island to do some work in Dunedin. This coincided nicely with the fact that we have family down there. It was the first time I’d been down the West Coast as we usually fly or go down the East … and I didn’t want to leave. It was the best time I’d had in ages. Maybe I will find some photos and post them tomorrow.
Went out with some mates this afternoon, which quickly turned into evening. If you are looking for a nice place to spend some time on a Saturday, try this.
The other half usually unfairly compares places like this with a pub he frequented when he was supposed to be at university :p The Cook is *apparently* the BEST and ONLY pub in the world, and nothing else compares. So there you go.
Do you say sorry when you haven’t done anything wrong?
Do you worry what other people think, even complete strangers whom you don’t know and are never likely to see again?
Do you ask for permission even when it is unnecessary?
Do you find it impossible to say no – even when you know you really need to, for one reason or another?
Do you try to restrain your natural reactions when you are recieving bad news? you don’t want to cause a scene or embarrass anyone …
Do you smile when giving someone else bad news, because you’re so nervous about how they’re going to react, and what they will feel, and what they might say, and how you’ll deal with it …..
Do you think/know that other people aren’t interested in your ideas, or what you have to say?
Do you often say things like “I have a question …” or “Is it ok if ….”
Do you ‘know’ whether or not people want you to do things, and adjust your behaviour accordingly?
Do you lend friends/acquaintances money and then feel unable to ask for it back? Then berate yourself because you needed that money in the first place, you wish you hadn’t agreed, and now your finances are going to be messed up for months …
Do you have friends who overstay their welcome? eg friends who come around for a coffee and end up staying for dinner and dessert even though you meant to be in bed early because you have a hard day at work tomorrow …
Do you end up doing things at work just because no one else wants to take them on?
Do you stay quiet during meetings?
Are you always the last to leave work because you’re busy tidying up other people’s jobs/messes?
Do you eat food that isn’t what you ordered/not up to standard in restaurants, instead of sending it back?
Do you put up with unwanted noise rather than asking the person to turn down their stereo/television etc?
Do you wait for your boss to offer you a raise instead of asking for one?
————————-
Give yourself :
1 for Never
2 for Occasionally
3 for Often
4 for Always
If most of your answers are 1s and 2s ( Never or Occasionally), then you probably are a good judge of the appropriate behavior for the appropriate situation. Sometimes you end up doing things you’d rather not, or you berate yourself for changing your actions when you wish you hadn’t. But in general, things are not too bad. You’re not too worried about what other people think of you, because you know that it’s impossible for everyone to like everyone … so there’s no point in tiptoeing round to try and make everyone happy! In general you have fairly strong self-esteem, and you don’t often think self-denigrating thoughts. There might be a few areas in which you could fine tune things, but nothing major. However it might be that you’re in quite a comfort zone, and need some ideas for waking things up!
If most of your answers are 2s and 3s, there are likely to be some areas in your life that aren’t working as well as you’d like. A lot of the time you feel controlled by other people, and you are not that happy about it. The need to be a ‘nice person’ doesn’t rule your life, but it is a fairly strong influence on you. You’d like to feel a bit more comfortable with yourself and how you react to things. Sometimes you don’t have any problem at all sticking up for yourself and getting what you want. Other times you fee unable to stand up for yourself, and you get quite angry without actually voicing your feelings. What’s worse, you can’t work out why this is happening.
If most of your answers are 3s and 4s (Often and Always), then you already know how serious this is for you. You are a real ‘people-pleaser’ and it’s making you miserable. You are always doing what you think other people want. You would be mortified if you thought you’d annoyed someone, and get really upset about it. You try to live by other people’s rules and you find it very frustrating and worrying. You wish you could just ‘pull yourself together’ – you have very little compassion for yourself, and you think other people have a low opinion of you too.
I love long weekends – time to catch up with all the people I like the best
I will have an interesting exercise for you tomorrow. I am too comfortable and well fed to make any more effort now, so you’ll have to wait til then
