Yesterday I looked after a class for a colleague, and we were all busy outside. One of the girls uses crutches and isn’t able to get around all that easily. She and I sat together for a while watching the others, and she decided to thread a handful of flowers into my hair. I had my hair in a very teacher-ish knot, and this kept her occupied for a little while 
Then we did duties and the end of school routine, I talked to a couple of parents and went to the office to pick up my mail. Then I left school and went to the supermarket. After that I checked our postbox, and then I went home.
I did all the things I usually do and didn’t get to bed until fairly late. As I was undoing my hair I heard a very small, strange sound. It was a bunch of lavender/marigolds/wildflowers falling down on to my pillow.
I’d completely forgotten!
Who knows what the grownups who saw me thought, but I remembered this little girl chatting away to me happily so I didn’t mind too much. She is so sweet
Ok I’m done with pussyfooting around on this topic.
Lots of you come here looking for ways to motivate yourselves at work. You are bored with it, it’s not interesting, you’re tired, you hate Mondays, you live for the weekends. You don’t enjoy it. The only reason you go there is for payday, cos there is nothing else positive about it.
You come and visit because there must be a secret formula somewhere, some natty trick to fool yourself into being enthusiastic. Maybe there is a post here that will create magic, and you’ll be able to spring out of bed and *love* going to work. You’ll be happy, you’ll breeze through the day, it will all be good.
I am going to be completely honest with you.
There is no secret trick. There is no special post. There is no way that you can find an answer to that question – “how do I make myself enjoy my job again?”
If you’ve lost it, it’s gone, and you won’t get it back.
I worried about the same things. I know my job. There are no surprises. I know what they want. Better the devil you know. It doesn’t matter as long as I get paid. I can ignore the stuff I don’t like because there are moments that I enjoy. It’s just a job, it doesn’t matter. There are lots of people unemployed who would love a job like mine. I’ve worked hard here and I shouldn’t step away from it.
These are excuses. They are excuses to stay in the same boring rut. Of course you’re scared of doing something extraordinary. Of course it is frightening looking for a new job. Of course you want security and safety and people around you you’ve known for ages, and you want a boss that you know too. You know where to park, you know the little tricks and ins-and-outs of your job, you are familiar with it.
I can NOT write a sparkly clever post that will enthrall and enthuse you, and make you fizz with energy about going to work if you are at this stage.
Here is my favorite quote yet again : if you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got.
Filed under: Self
… up until when you say something you shouldn’t have.
If you’re ever in doubt, don’t say it. Don’t say anything. If you are ever wondering whether you *should* … then don’t. If you are ever angry … don’t. If you know it will hurt someone’s feelings, don’t. A few more seconds of thinking before you actually open your mouth might save you a lot of embarrassment.
I am just as guilty of this as anyone! but a few years back I decided that I’d say nothing and count to ten first. It was a really interesting thing to do. You wouldn’t believe what comes out of some people’s mouths when there is a silence in the conversation :0
How does that saying go? it’s better to be quiet and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Filed under: Work and Motivation
lol, a pertinent topic, thanks ZT
Had the car in to be serviced today, and to have some work done. After waiting with bated breath for a couple of hours had a quote, which was about a thousand dollars *under* what we’d originally been told.
I know!! I thought I’d won Lotto!!
So now I have this car in perfect running order. I was tempted to put my foot down on the way home, just because. But unfortunately I can’t put my head down in the back and blame someone else when I get caught speeding, which is a bit of a pain really. There is no one else I can blame if I give in to that temptation and go for a blast down Te Rapa Straight. I’d get done, I’d get fined, I’d lose my licence. Then I couldn’t go to work, I couldn’t take the kids to night sports games (they get the buses for the practises in the day time),and all the other mundane things I use the car for. I couldn’t work as a teacher, because The Rules say that teachers have to be whiter than white. They certainly can’t get caught speeding like a teenager and doing donuts. To be honest, I couldn’t stand up in front of a class again if I’d behaved that way, whatever the professional consequences were. I just couldn’t do it. However much I felt the need to have 10 seconds of adrenaline instead of a nice tame cup of coffee …
anyway, this car. I’ve owned cars since I was 19, had full insurance the whole time, never made a claim. Never caused an accident, never killed anyone. Never run over any old ladies, never hit any children, never abducted anyone in the boot. All I’ve done is paid car payments, paid the insurance, bought the tyres and replaced the bits that’ve fallen off. Spent hours in the weekends washing and polishing (Liquid Diamond!).
In fact when it comes down to it, I am a boring person really. Go to work, get paid, budget it all out and pay for what I need. If I can’t afford it – if I didn’t work for it – I don’t get it, and neither does anyone else in my house.
Wonder why the government sees it so differently …
and that is my first and final post on anything remotely to do with politics. I will leave that to ZenTiger in future
I’ve spent some of today doing some pre-winter cleaning. A friend dropped in to visit, and we were talking about how we both like to get organised before winter really sets in. Think about it – do you really want to be stuck inside a messy, unorganised grubby house looking out at the wet cold weather? Not me. I’d much rather be tucked up inside a clean, warm, welcoming house for the winter months!
I’ve been trialling using vinegar/baking soda etc for cleaning products. So far I’m pretty impressed. The vinegar smell does go away as the surface dries. Baking soda and vinegar really brought a shine to the stainless steel base of the kids shower so that was great. You don’t need terribly much more elbow grease either (I’ve no plans to spend my life doing housework or developing huge arms!)
Sometimes I look around and think we could do with a bigger house, or new furniture, etc. But then I think of someone we know who has a ‘gorgeous’ home, beautiful new furniture and everything anyone could ask for. But they are pretty unhappy at the moment. They are overextended, unhappy, getting very short tempered and generally feeling pretty miserable. So I am happy with where I am, and it’s no hassle to me creating a nice clean warm place to spend the winter :0
Finally on a plane that’s far away from anything I can afford … have a look at this site. Just beautiful Go to ‘projects‘ and enjoy, daydream, or just generally gnash your teeth in complete envy! 
I have huge respect for people who can create on this scale. I don’t know where you would start to be able to complete projects like this. Sure, I’m like anyone – I know what I like (and I’ve got VERY definite ideas!) but to see everything put together in ways like this is just stunning. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to ’see’ this in your head, and know the steps to take to make it a reality …
I suppose it’s like eating an elephant, or bringing up kids, or building a great life. One step at a time
Filed under: Self
Hi to everyone who’s visiting from Con Yaps blog!
Looking forward to tomorrow, when I will meet someone new in town for a coffee …
Things have been really busy here. I owe you all a LOT of posts.
The weather here has been relatively good. There is a chill in the air though, and you can see people are starting to get out their winter woollies. A while ago a friend of mine gave me a quilt she’d made. She was going overseas to live and couldn’t take very much with her. This quilt was in the daughters room for a while, but I have to confess I always had my eye on it! the other day she let me have it. It’s nice and soft, made of squares of different shades of pink with touches of green. I think the pieces are cut from old soft sheets and old embroidered pillow cases. The bedroom isn’t pink, but luckily the quilt doesn’t look completely out of place … so in the afternoons (if I get a minute!) I go in there and lie down for a while. The sun falls right across the bed and it’s very hard not to fall asleep!
Do you have a place like that in your house?
I have others, but on this quilt in the afternoon sun is one of my favorites
Rising petrol prices …
the opportunity to stay home, to enjoy what we have instead of going out looking for more. The chance to really think about what we are doing, is it really necessary to go out yet again, could we have planned more efficiently? the chance to save time (as well as petrol) by doing everything in one outing, instead of going out multiple times in one day. Also (and this is a big one for a lot of people) do you *really* need a second car? we sold one of our cars years ago, and it was one of the best things we ever did. One set of tyres, one warrant, one registration. One petrol tank to fill All it takes is organisation. Our city has great buses, the supermarket and Westfield are not far away, we have biked there. We were born with legs, all you need is a backpack and some comfortable shoes and you’re set. Besides, we like to go places together. It would be just weird to be in separate cars now. We use the intercity buses weekly too for the times when one of us has to be out of town, or when the kids need to visit their dad. Look carefully at your situation if you have two cars … it’s very often a complete luxury and not a necessity at all.
Rising grocery prices …
the chance to really look closely at what we eat. How much of it comes out of a packet, how much of it is NOT healthy? how much of it is convenience – we’re tired, we work, we get home with aching feet and bleary eyes, all we want to do is eat as quickly as possible and fall into a chair. Is the freezer being used properly? do the kids like to cook? how can we simplify what we eat – not so much cooking, eating what’s in season? do the kids really need those expensive things to stock up their lunchboxes? do they need to drink juice instead of water (my experience is that kids will drink litres of water if it has ice-cubes … I have no idea why!) what do we really know about nutrition and its effects on our bodies? Cooking doesn’t need to be a horrible drama. Take turns to cook, keep a list of easy recipes. A pot of porridge is easily cooked in the morning and is way better than a bowl of CocoaPops. Do you have a breadmaker? (be careful, you might make a rod for your own back. The kids here don’t like bought bread of any kind now!) but the bread keeps them going for longer, it is more satisfying, and I have to confess I get a sneaky kind of smugness that I *make the bread*! Do you have a yoghurt maker? these are good too. Healthy *and* yummy, and way cheaper than buying the pottles. All you need are the little containers with red lids for lunches, and you’re set. Add fruit to the yoghurt, or even a little sprinkling of bulk bin dried fruit. Speaking of which, check out the bulk bins, they are great.
the economy is going from bad to worse …
an opportunity to look at mortgages and hire purchase agreements/bills, and see if they are being dealt with efficently. Paying a mortage fortnightly instead of monthly makes a huge difference. Is it an idea to talk to the bank, perhaps they will consolidate your loans or waive bank fees. Is money being wasted? what is a need as opposed to a want? Try using cash instead of EFTPOS, cut back on the cafe-lattes, don’t do takeaways any more. Read online or join the library instead of buying books and magazines. I know you always do a cold wash time peoples showers (we have a shower-hog in our house and we have to keep a close eye on them or else there would NEVER be hot water!) Plant some veges. Sell clothes you don’t need on TradeMe. Clean out your kitchen cupboards and sell things you don’t use or need. Give your kids a set amount of pocket money and don’t cave in when they want more. Handing out money indiscriminately is bad for your kids as well as for your wallet.
The news is so depressing …
turn off that tv and sit down to dinner at the table.
Don’t have music playing, just talk. Really talk.
Listening to the answers is not optional!
A couple of weeks ago I had a whole series of blood tests taken. 11 vials of blood! I can’t look while the needle goes in, but I can look after that when the vials are filling. Fascinating stuff. But those 11 vials did look like an awful lot of blood …. so now I know everything is working properly. I have to confess I’m usually an ‘ostrich’ about things like that. If I don’t know about it, it isn’t happening, which is kind of silly really. So these blood tests were a bit out of character for me!
I decided I was being pathetic when I am usually always about education and learning. Why do lots of work on myself and ignore the physical?
A lot of people I know are the exact opposite. They are really good at monitoring their health and fitness, but they ignore the other sides of themselves. A holistic view of health includes all of you, not just your resting heart rate or how much you can bench press. So I am feeling quite smug that I have an overall view of what’s going on
On a wider note, the weather is changing here. There have been some very cold mornings, and some bright sunny autumn days. The leaves are falling quickly now. I’ve decided I need a client who likes to walk – I think it’d be a great idea to do the session while walking down along the river. We have a really nice river running through the middle of Hamilton, and it’s very picturesque. There has been a lot of time and effort spent on the riverside walks. I might take some photos for you, seeing as how I haven’t put any up for a while. So if you want to get some exercise and do something great for yourself and your life, drop me a line! (I don’t know where I get these ideas, but maybe the thought of a coffee at one of the cafes in town at the end of the walk attracted my attention! )
As I’ve said before, I don’t really completely subscribe to the multi-tasking thing. I think if you’ve having coaching, it should be all about you. It shouldn’t be something you slot in between meetings, or at the end of the day after all your other commitments when you’re exhausted. It should be something that energizes you and makes you feel better about yourself.
Hmm a walking/coaching group? *ponders*
Here I am at 6.00am in the morning, doing some work and thinking on a comment made to the last post.
To foster communication, people need to feel they will be listened to and not judged.
This comment from ZenTiger is right on the mark. When I first heard of ‘life’ coaching, I thought what the *&^% is that? I’d heard about business coaching, and that seemed completely sensible. I have a little to do with a big corporation and some of the things I hear just make me cringe. I definitely think some of those people could do with a huge dose of coaching, because the decisions they make/the way they do business/the way they treat people are quite frankly abysmal. Then they wonder why efficiency isn’t at a high, why there is a high turnover of staff, and why people don’t go out of their way to create a happy working environment. When you have a bunch of suits all high on testosterone only thinking about themselves, you are apt to run into trouble.
But life coaching – surely most people have themselves together enough to sort their lives out? Do they need to see someone to be bossed around, told what to do, be told what isn’t working and how they should look/behave to make things really work?
It’s not like that at all.
Think about your circle of friends/mates/acquaintances. Who do you trust when you want an impartial viewpoint on your life? who do you talk to about those vague worries you have, the times when you think your life isn’t going the way you want. Do you even know where your life is going? what is your secret dream? do you worry that if you talk to one of your mates they waill laugh, scoff, brush you off? Have you ever tried talking to someone about personal things in a cafe, or in a house where kids are lurking around and the phone rings and your other half might walk in just when you’re discussing your relationship?
Some men especially find it hard to talk. There is a lot of pressure. Go to work, make the money, make that mortgage payment, be a sensitive partner (what does she want anyway?), mow the lawn, talk to your kids. Men do things differently to women. I know that sounds sexist, but it’s from my experience, yours might be different but for the purpose of this entry my opinion goes, so hey
I think if you’re a guy it is easy to come up with solutions. Ways to fix it, what your partner should do and say. Women go on and on about it, they go round in circles, talking and talking. Why doesn’t she just do this and this, and the problem will be solved? Mostly, women don’t operate like that. Talking clears the head, you can hear your own thoughts, new stuff comes out, you can talk about it and come to a conclusion. This drives men crazy, in my opinion. Talk talk talk! just fix it! I’ve said to my other half sometimes … I just want you to listen and go uh-huh, you don’t need to fix it. Oh! he said, quite surprised and happy, I can do that. So we did and it was great.
Some people use blogging for the same reason. It’s a way to communicate, to organise your thoughts. Sometimes you get great feedback. Lots of relationships are formed this way, and from a far wider range of people than you’d meet in everyday life. Sometimes the feedback is negative. That’s ok too. You can always shutdown
But life coaching is confidential. It won’t go any further. The coach isn’t sitting there going is it dinner time yet, I have to make school lunches, this person is being an idiot really, they don’t really love me, is this a problem with me personally, I can’t wait to tell this in the tea room, what a juicy piece of gossip!
Men especially can find it hard to open up about what’s worrying them. They retreat, they go quiet, they go and spend time in their shed or they snap at the kids or they vanish for hours. Some men have been really surprised at how easy it is to talk when someone is asking interesting questions with no agenda. They like the exercises we do because it is efficient, it’s solution based without being waffly. They are amazed at what they find out about themselves. They discover that there is a lot more going on than ‘being a guy’.
With some men the gender divide makes it difficult for them to talk to women in their lives. There is always the question – am I going to screw things up if I talk to my partner about our relationship? will she move into the spare room? will she smash dishes? now I am going to extremes describing this, but you get the idea.
With a coach there is no worry about this. There is no question that the coach will report back to the partner or that the relationship will be belittled. Coaches are trained in different communication styles, and ways of learning. There is subtle stuff going on, like how does this person learn, what is their learning style, how do they process information, which approach is best for this particular person.
It isn’t one size fits all.
One of the main problems I see time and time again, is how people don’t feel listened to, they don’t feel heard, they feel that they are just a job description or a role. They stop communicating and this makes it harder for those around them, as well as themselves. They go through the motions of what they are expected to do ( or what they think they’re expected to do). That’s where the unhappiness starts. Assumptions are made and the person ends up veering off the path that would make them happy. Let’s face it, unhappiness spreads. You’re unhappy, your partner doesn’t understand what’s going on, fights start, you drift further apart. It’s awful.
Anyway this has turned into a very long post so I hope you’re still here reading, if you are you deserve a cup of coffee and some peaceful time in the sun. It’s overcast here – hope it turns out to be a nice day. For you too
