NewZealandCoach’s Weblog

I have talked to *so* many people who cannot say no.

They don’t want to upset others. They see what other people want them to do as more important. They do not want to appear ‘lazy’ or ‘incompetent’. They want to help. They think they have enough time available.

You probably know all their reasons already.

The thing that seems to be a stumbling block for most is that they can’t think of a ‘polite’ way to say no.

Don’t be too apologetic. If you can’t do it for whatever reason, you don’t need to apologise. You can be totally sympathetic, but don’t be overly apologetic. This gives the signal that you just might change your mind if you’re put under pressure.

If you say “Let me think about it and get back to you”, just leave it there. Don’t give any impression that you will probably say yes. You’re thinking about it because you have no answer one way or the other.

You are not under any expectation to give an explanation. It is reasonable for you to say “I don’t have time to do that”. You don’t have to explain any further. It is your life and your time, after all.

Before you commit to anything, consider what you’re already supposed to be doing. If you do anything more, something will have to be rescheduled. You might have to give something else up. Remember too that you are supposed to be having time for yourself each day.

Just because there are 24 hours in the day does NOT mean that you fill up every minute doing jobs for other people.