Filed under: Self
Today the weather was pretty awful. It wasn’t as cold as it has been but it rained intermittently all day. All I could think about was what the power bill might be like as the dryer churned relentlessly drying the clothes from the week. Then I realised what I was doing … wasting time on the weekend thinking about something in a very negative way indeed. My mum didn’t have even a washing machine until I was about six months old (she washed the clothes AND nappies in twin concrete tubs outside the house), and she didn’t have a dryer until my sister was born four years after me. (There had been a brother in the meantime as well.) So when I remembered that, I felt pretty awful that I’d been stressing.
One memory from when I was a little kid was the sun shining through the yellow curtains while I had my Weetbix and hot milk for breakfast. It’s funny that my own kids still eat Weetbix for breakfast – they aren’t so keen on tomato sandwiches though. That’s all I ate for lunch the entire time I was at primary school. The difference these days is that my lunch was wrapped up in lunch paper, and kids now have Gladwrap. We used to be able to buy our lunches on Fridays – two senior kids would walk down the main road to the local shop with a big basket and the lunch orders. There were no health warnings about the evils of sugared doughnuts, or hot chips. Kids ate pies and sausage rolls, and parents never worried. We ate big piles of mashed potato, kumara, cabbage, swede, turnip, and there was always meat. Mostly variations of sausages and mince!
Where have all these health warnings come from? why do we need to be told what to do? Don’t we already realise that more food + less fun = overweight? I hate that word exercise. It sounds so worthy, so boring, so painful. I’d far rather use the word ‘fun’. Fun does not usually involve lying around on the couch looking out the window (that’s called, ‘contemplation’ or ‘meditation’!). Well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it! Actual fun involves going on a silly shopping mission with your mates, or walking on the beach with a good friend, or going for a bike ride with your kids (even if the ice-cream shop is at the end of the ride). Fun doesn’t involve introspection too much – it’s more action, giggling, silliness, talking, laughing, mad schemes and road trips.
Hope you had a good Saturday and that there is lots of fun in your life 
If you’re sick of allocating jobs in your house, I’ve found something you might like.
It takes about ten minutes to set up according to your personal circumstances, but once you’ve done that it runs like clockwork. It will even email people to remind them of their schedule.
I have better things to do than remind people that it’s their turn to clean the toilet :p
Filed under: Work and Motivation
The school term ended today, and on that note I have a question to ask (no!).
What did you want to be when you grew up?
I had lofty aspirations of being a diplomat. I have two other languages at U.E. level (that’s a long time ago), and I was quite determined that I would live overseas and do exciting things. Well, as it turned out I stayed in New Zealand doing exciting things, but I still might be a diplomat when I grow up!
If I analyse it, being a coach is very similiar to being a diplomat. Without such a high chance of ending in Dangerous Country and getting deported, or even shot. One would hope.
So here’s my challenge. Think of your ideal job, and all the reasons why you’d like to do it. Some people want public recognition, some want to be anonymous. Some like to research and be in charge of their own workload, others want to know what the parameters are. Some like a lot of social interaction and people to bounce ideas off. Others want peace and quiet. Some people like to work 8.30-5.00. Some like to work mostly at night, and sleep in in the morning.
I used to have a job in which I could work 4.30pm until midnight, and that was *perfect*. Then I was rostered on to the morning shift – 5.00am until 11.00am, with a Saturday morning as well. We soon discovered that I can add up a column of figures three times, and get three different answers at that time of the morning. I can literally be asleep bolt upright on my chair, and have no memory of conversations. The boss and I decided it was probably better for me to go back to my old shift, where I got x3 as much work done and was much brighter and happier into the bargain.
So, everyone needs different things from their job, including their working hours. Nothing is wrong or right. It has to be about what suits you.
We spend a huge part of our lives at work. What is the point of being miserable?
Finally, for your viewing pleasure, here is my nomination for ‘Best Blog Title in the World, ever!!’
IN YR BACK YARD QUIETLY EXPANDING MAH GLOBAL INFLUENCE
I play the piano. I don’t take lessons any more (although that’s a bit of a cheat, there are a couple of people in my life that I ask advice of if I need it). I practise, I find pieces of music that I like, and then I work on them. I’m not a concert pianist, I don’t give recitals or anything like that. Only a few people ever hear me play. I do it mostly for myself.
I did have lessons for a number of years though. I’ve also had lessons in how to read, write, and drive a car. I’ve had lessons in how to teach, how to listen, even in how to dance. Although at this point in time there is not often a need for me to demonstrate that I know how to execute a Viennese waltz :p
So when it comes to guidance in everyday life, I’m not thinking that getting ‘lessons’ in how to develop my potential is out of left field.
The urge to do more, learn more, create more doesn’t go away. Motivation can be another story. Everyone needs different things. What makes me get up in the morning and go to work will not be the same for you. What makes me get up off the couch might possibly drive you crazy, make you dig your heels in, or make you stop listening altogether.
Teaching a class full of children has absolutely taught me that no two people learn in the same way. That does not change just because we’re grownups.
So, for you, the person reading …
how do you like someone to teach you?
how do you like someone to encourage you?
who sees the big picture of your life, and keeps you on the right track?
I’m really looking forward to the teleconference tomorrow morning.
Teleconferencing involves (for me) a whole different set of listening skills. There are so many voices on the end of the line. The phone I use isn’t cordless unfortunately, so I am in one place from the beginning of the call to the end. In the beginning I saw this as a negative. I wasn’t used to ’staying put’.
Then I saw it in another light.
I spend some time making myself a nice nest for the two hours that the call takes. I have my cup of tea, jug of water, my oil burner or a scented candle, and all my pillows behind my back. I have my trusty laptop so I can make notes, and see the work that we’re about to cover laid out in front of me. I can look out the window to the garden, and hear the budgie chirping in his cage. All this preparation helps me to concentrate fully on the two hours I spend on the phone with this particular group of people.
I do this for clients who visit me too. There has to be the jug of water (sometimes with lemon), sparkling clean glasses, comfortable chairs. I usually have something interesting on the table : a vase of flowers, a polished paua shell. Doing this helps me get into the right mindset, so that by the time they come through the gate I am totally focused on them and what they’re bringing to the appointment.
I love Thursdays.
Finally, it was my dad’s birthday today, and we went down to visit with him and the rest of the family. It was a lot of fun. It was fun to collaborate with my mother and sister on the perfect birthday presents. It was fun to arrive and see the little grandchildren running around, happy and excited. There is just something about a bunch of very little children singing ‘Happy Birthday’.
But it was the ultimate to watch his face as he opened up the card to see that in four months time he and my mother are going over to Australia to watch the Melbourne Cup!! (it will be the first time they have been overseas).
Our present to Dad? a nice new suitcase of course, with all the zips, wheels, pockets, and locks that I could possibly find
Happy Birthday Dad xxx
I’ve added links this morning, to websites that will keep you entertained for hours. Meet Margaret Wyn, who is my tutor coach, and director of the Professional Coaching Company, and the New Zealand School of Coaching. Go and find out, otherwise I’ll end up rewriting sites that are far more lucid and entertaining than this one!
One of the things that attracted me to the site and ultimately into talking to Margaret, was the way she ensures that all her coaches receive ongoing formal training. That emphasis on professional guidance, support and accountability is something that I think every client deserves.
I certainly plan on continuing training with Margaret for as long as she’ll have me
I have met such a great bunch of people through Margaret. Every one of them thoughtful, entertaining and aware. Every one of them in a different situation, but all willing to share, listen and contribute to each others growth.
I love it.
How do you manage your ongoing learning and education? Are you like me, endlessly curious and busy studying, or are you enjoying a break? do you have ideas, or interests that you’ve often thought you’d like to explore? I remember when I bought my trailer yacht, and decided for the sake of safety I should get a qualification. I spent time in Taupo obtaining my Day Skippers diploma – I was the only female on the course, and the only yachtie. The other participants were men, probably twenty years older and they all had power boats. So there were different perspectives there, it was really interesting. I was frightened to do this course, because of the navigation factor. I had the idea that there was a lot of maths involved, and of course there was. But because I was interested, and had a great tutor I was able to get to grips with it. I had absolutely no experience with it before that, so I was pretty proud of myself when I received my diploma. I haven’t got my coastline qualification yet, but it’s on the agenda So if you’ve got an idea in the back of your mind, don’t be frightened. Pick up the phone and ring someone, find out the costs, find out the days. Take a step further towards actually doing it.
You’ll be glad you did.
Following on from the sergeant major idea of yesterday …
Have you ever thought about *how* you actually motivate yourself to get things done?
There are a million articles out there, both in hard copy and online, of ways to become motivated. It makes me tired just reading them :p
I’m thinking of some tasks I need to get done that are not essentially related to coaching as such. We are talking more the everyday boring tasks that get put to one side. Cleaning, organising household tasks. Let’s be honest there are usually more thrilling ways to spend the day. Unfortunately some millionaire has not seen fit to gift me with a housekeeper, so until that day it looks like it’s my deal.
If I look at the overview, it is not the best motivation. Too boring, will take too long, I can’t be bothered. There is too much to do, I won’t have time.
Making a list of the positive things I will gain is a much better way to start. Imagine that I want to rearrange/organise our garage. As in most homes, there is a range of stuff in there that really needs to be dealt with. The benefits to doing this … ?
* more room to arrange my gardening tools
* more room for wet weather gear and I won’t keep losing my umbrella!
* more room to catalogue my collection of sailing gear
* organisation ahead of time for a move we’re planning
You get the idea. For me, looking at the negatives is a sure way to stop myself getting anything done. It has to be about what *I* will gain from doing this.
Once you’ve decided on the positives, chop the job up into little pieces. I won’t start on the entire space, but I’ll begin with my laundry supplies. I won’t plan to have it finished tomorrow, but I’ll give myself two weeks and then I’ll reassess.
I won’t plan on spending days at a time on it, either. This will be a job where I use the oven timer, and promise myself a cup of tea in peace and quiet at the end of each session. I’ll be flexible about the amount of time I spend on it, because there are other things that are a higher priority.
So, if you’re thinking about some grotty job and you’re not really very motivated (or to be honest, you’re not motivated at all!) try this :
Specific. Don’t say “I’ll organise the garage.” Try this “I’ll organise this particular corner so everything’s on the shelves in labelled boxes.” Or even “I’ll sort out this pile of recycling so there’s more room to get the groceries out of the car, and hang up wet weather gear.” I am all in favour of things that make my life more streamlined and give me more time to do the fun things …
Measureable. You’ve focused your attention on one specific place. Much more manageable than the entire thing.
Action. Don’t wait til you’ve got a free day. Don’t wait until you’ve got the tricky cleaning stuff you’ve suddenly decided is essential. Just go there and take action, even if it’s only for five speedy minutes.
Time based. Even better than five minutes, use your oven timer and set it for 15 minutes. The task will be much more bearable if you know there’s an end to it, and the end is not very far away!
So, does a coach keep a really close eye on their client? Do they ring them every day to make sure they’re following up on their homework? Does a coach ‘push’ their client to make sure they achieve?
I’m not a sergeant major. I don’t want to follow you around, barking orders at you and breathing down your neck until you spring into action and do what you’re told. If that worked I would try it on my children :p
Coaching doesn’t work like that.
The coaching isn’t an expert telling a novice what to do. It’s a ‘partnership’. What you’ll achieve, week by week, is discussed and agreed on. We’ve already looked at the issue in detail – what holds you back, and what you’re afraid of. You’ll see clearly how to move forward. It won’t be something you dread doing, and it won’t involve anything dramatic and ostentatious (unless you want it to!).
It’ll be a small step on your path to where you want to be.
When you come to coaching, you’ll develop skills and habits that will still benefit you long after the ‘official’ sessions are finished. There would be absolutely no point in my standing over you with a big stick. When you come to coaching, you are learning, creating and setting habits for yourself.
Remember, coaching is not about anyone else except *you*.
I’ve got three new books to read, I can’t wait. They are all to do with coaching, and two are a series written by the same author. So once I’ve finished, I’ll write a ‘review’. I sometimes wish more people did this … I’m always buying books, mostly from online. I hardly ever use Amazon ; I’m a real fan of fishpond.co.nz
If you’re ever in Hamilton, make sure you visit Browsers in the main street. Polished old wooden floors, comfortable armchairs and enough reading material to keep you occupied for months.
I love walking out of there with a brown paper bag under my arm filled with books …
221 Victoria Street South
Hamilton, NZ.
Telephone/Fax: +64 7 839 1919
E-mail: browsers@clear.net.nz
Shop Hours
9.30-9.30, Mon-Fri
10.00-9.30, Sat-Sun
The Americas Cup – so exciting!!
Here’s a link to a story that you might not have known.
How writing a cheque changed New Zealand history
I’ve seen that happen with clients, with my own life.
One small decision. An impulse, something that might possibly be rash, a decision that makes you feel excited/anxious/thrilled all at the same time.
Anything could happen!
